when you’re starving and a friend offers you a piece of their food
YOU EAT YOUR FRIEND?!
THIS. THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING MOST RELATIVE THING AND I JUST FUCKING LOVE IT.
if you ever think my shorts are “too short” i want you to consider the following
- they are called “shorts”
- i look great
things to say when someone asks you about your scars (especially if they’re being rude and intrusive about it)
I’ve never watched an episode of Game of Thrones in my life and even I know that you don’t fuck with the blonde dragon lady.
and that the kid with the crown is the human version of period cramps
and jon snow is ned stark’s bastard
that’s the show
That’s the most accurate description of Joffrey i’ve ever read.
moms are so temperamental you say one thing like “have you seen my hoodie” and theyre like your HOODIE??? YOUR HOODIE???? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS I HAVE TO DO EVERY DAY AND YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR HOODIE? NOBODY HELPS ME IN THIS HOUSE I DO EVERYTHING BY MYSELF AND NOBODY ASKS HOW I AM YOUR FATHER IS AN ALCOHOLIC
people whose entire first name is also in their last name have had a rough journey
i once knew a daniel daniels and i think his parents just had a sick sense of humor because his middle name was dan
avengers 2 sypnosis:
- everyone talks about what they have been doing since the first movie
- clint just sits there staring into the camera like he’s in an episode of the office